The Touch Of A Hand
by MyDuckWontBark
Summary: Harry's walking around with a weight on his shoulders. He's in love with his best friend. But what if Louis feels the same way? LARRY S-L-A-S-H
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**** - What Was That?**

"Hey, Haz, hurry up! We're gonna miss the plane!" Louis shouted at me.

_Yay,_ I thought. _3 months on a bus with Louis._

I mean, I loved the guy. I always have. But before it was just in a friendly way. Now, though… it was more than that.

Every time I see him I get butterflies in my stomach. I get jealous when I see him with female fans; smiling with them, laughing with them, standing a little too close for my liking…

He never knew this of course. I wanted to tell him, I really did, but I couldn't. If I did it would just ruin things. The band, our image, our friendship.

But if I was afraid if I didn't tell him it would ruin _me._ I couldn't keep it bottled up. I was walking around with a massive weight on my shoulders, a buzz in my head, an ache in my heart.

"Harry, come _on_!" Louis shouted again, waking me from my sleep-like trance.

"Coming," I sighed, hitching my backpack on my shoulder and walking to meet him at the front door.

"Cheer up, sweetcheeks. Tour time!" He said, pinching my cheeks, trying to cheer me up. What he didn't know was that when he touched me electric shocks were flying through my body, doing unthinkable things to me.

He looked confused as he looked at me, staring me hard in my eyes. I stared back, melting inside. He had the most beautiful eyes…

He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze, but left his hands on my face. They were flat against my cheeks now, warm and soft. He left them there for a couple of seconds before pulling them away, looking shifty.

_What was that?_

"Louis-" I started, but was cut off by his lips crashing on mine.

It took me a couple of seconds to realise what was happening but when I did I kissed back with more passion than I thought was possible.

Louis now had his hands in my hair, tugging at my messy curls, while my hands were around his waist, pulling him closer.

He pushed me hard against the wall, taking his hands out of my hair and placing them at either side of my head on the wall.

He ran his tongue along my bottom lip, begging for entrance, which I was all too happy to oblige. I felt his breath on the back of my throat, hot and ragged.

I slid my hands up his back, stopping at the back of his neck, pulling his face closer. By now I was struggling for breathe and I could tell he was too, but I didn't want to stop. A couple of seconds later and I had forgotten what it felt like to breath. We pulled back at the same time and Louis tipped his head forward and leant on my forehead.

It felt like we had been kissing for ages, but at the same time it wasn't long enough.

He looked into my eyes and grinned, but I was still stunned so I couldn't return it, even though I wanted to. His smile faltered.

"Harry…" He spluttered. He took a deep breath, then he said more steadily; "Harry, I'm so sorry, I just-"

I put my finger to his lips, then closed the gap between us, kissing him again, this time softly, lovingly.

"I love you," he stated, making me gasp quietly. He looked unsure as my face stayed a mask of shock.

"I love you, too," I whispered, a huge smile spreading across my face. He sighed, relieved, then pecked me on the lips, before letting me go.

"We've really got to go now," he said, regretfully.

I chewed on my bottom lip, gently. "What are we gonna tell the boys?"


	2. Chapter 2

_I chewed my bottom lip, gently. "What are we gonna tell the boys?"_

"We'll just have to handle it when it comes," he shrugged, pushing the door open and walking towards the car that was waiting for us, leaving me to lock the door.

I locked the door and walked towards the car, feeling knots in my stomach.

"You okay?" Louis asked me, looking concerned.

"Yeah, fine," I said. I turned to look at him, he didn't look convinced.

"Look, I know we have to tell the boys, but can't we just leave it for a while?" he asked.

"Why?"

He picked up my hand and started playing with my fingers, staring at them intently. I took my hand out of his and placed it under his chin, lifting it slightly so that he was looking at me. I searched his eyes for answers. "What's up?"

He sighed, and then said, "I'm sorry, I just don't want to tell the boys right now. I mean, what are we?"

He was right. We needed to figure out what we were before we told anyone anything.

"Also," he continued, "I want it to be just me and you for a bit, you know?"

I wanted to kiss him so bad.

But I couldn't.

_Could I?_

_No, that would just confuse things even more._

_But he's so cute…_

"Harry?" Louis asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, I just… yeah," I said, completely losing my train of thought.

He sighed heavily. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He leant forward so that his face was right next to mine. I could feel his hot breath on my cheek as he said, "I really want to kiss you right now," he breathed, heavily against my ear. "Would that be okay?"

I couldn't breathe properly; he had that effect on me. I nodded slowly, turning my face slightly. As my head turned I noticed the driver, minding his own business, not noticing what was going on in the back of his car. I couldn't kiss Louis when he was here, watching.

I pulled my finger up to Louis' lips, stopping him. He looked disappointed, so I whispered gently; "2 secs."

Then I leant forward and caught the driver's attention. "Hey, do you have some kind of curtain in here? My friend wants to take a nap," I chuckled, motioning to Louis. I heard him laugh quietly from behind me.

"Sure, just pull down on that handle," he pointed to a hook on the ceiling which I pulled down muttering a quick thank you.

As soon as I was sat back in my seat, Louis' mouth was on mine, kissing me fiercely. My hands found the back of his neck again, pulling his face closer. He was pushing me against the window, his hands on my hips.

I rubbed my tongue against his lips. He parted his lips as my tongue began to explore his mouth, battling with his.

He moaned quietly into my mouth making me smile into the kiss. I drew back for breath, but was quickly back on his lips, begging for more.

His hands travel from my hips, lower, to my thighs. I felt something twisting in my stomach, making me moan quietly as he drew back for breath. He was smirking mischievously, making me wonder what he was planning to do.

"Louis-" I started to speak but was cut off by his lips reattaching themself to mine.

His hands started moving again. This time inwards, rubbing the inside of my legs. My eyes widen as I realised what he was doing.

I place my hands on his chest, pushing him back slightly. "Louis," I started, taking big breaths, "not here, okay?"

He nodded, understanding. But he didn't lean back. Instead he kissed me softly once more. He leant his forehead and against mine and looked me in the eyes. "I love you, Harry."

"Louis," I bit my lip, looking him straight in the eyes. I didn't want to ask this question but I needed to know. "How can you be sure?"

"What?" He asked, disbelievingly.

"You know what," I muttered, looking down at my lap. Louis' head was still on mine but he leaned back and put a hand under my chin, making me look him straight in his eyes.

"Harry, I love you. I've known that for a long time now. The moment you kissed me back was one of the happiest of my life. I never thought you would feel the same way as I do in a million years, but you said you did. But now I'm not sure you do."

I sighed, "I do love you, Louis, I do. I've known that for a long time, as well. But I'm just not sure that we're ready."

"Ready for what, Haz? We've got the whole world at our feet. We love each other, no-one can change that," he was looking desperate now.

I felt bad now. I didn't mean to upset him, I was just sceptical.

"I'm sorry…" I said, picking up his hand, and kissing it. Then I pulled away from him completely. "I don't want to fight."

I put my hand up in front of me, flat in the air. He smiled as he placed his palm flat against mine. His hand was slightly bigger than mine, but not much.

I looked at our hands, palm-to-palm, fingers spread. I closed my hand around his, interlocking our fingers.

He smiled, before leaning forward and kissing me softly.

Louis held my hand for the rest of the journey…


	3. Chapter 3

We sat in silence for the rest of the journey. As we pulled up to the airport Louis sighed.

"Cheer up, sweetcheeks. Tour time!" I said, mocking his earlier statement.

"Shut up, you," he joked. He kissed me quickly on the lips before removing his hand from mine. "Race ya there!"

I laughed as I unclipped my seat belt and jumped from my seat, shouting, "You're on!"

We got into the airport twenty minutes later after standing with some fans for pictures. I had noticed that Louis hadn't been standing as close to the girls as usual. I kept looking over at him to find him staring at me. It made me feel happy, wanted. But I was worried as well. _What if the fans saw? What if the paparazzi caught it on camera? What would the world think of me and Louis? Did I care…?_

As we walked into the airport I saw the rest of the boys lounging about on blue plastic chairs. Liam looked noticeably irritated. As soon as he saw us he was up like a flash walking briskly over to us. I looked to Louis and could tell he was thinking the same thing as I was; _Here comes a lecture._

"Where the bloody hell have you two been?" Liam almost shouted.

"Calm down," Louis said casually.

"_Calm down?_" he seethed. "You two are nearly an hour late!"

"Alright, calm down, _daddy,"_ I said, sarcastically, not in the mood to be shouted at. "We just lost track of time." I shrugged.

"Doing _what _exactly?" Liam asked, quieter now but still pissed.

I looked at Louis who was smirking at me.

"Your lordship here was fixing his hair," I smirked, noticing Louis glaring at me. Liam tutted in his direction then turned on his heels and walked back over to the boys.

"_Fixing my hair?_" Louis said, fake-angry. "You seriously couldn't have come up with anything better than that?"

"I could have," I winked. Louis pretended to glare at me, so I pouted and said, "Are you angry with me?" in a baby voice.

"I could never be angry with you," he said, seriously. Then, "Come on, let's go catch that plane."

Half an hour later and we were waiting to board the plane. I pulled Louis aside and said, "I don't think it's a good idea if we sit next to each other on the plane."

"Well, I, on the other hand, think it's a brilliant idea," he said with a massive grin plastered across his face. "Dibs I sit next to Harry!" he shouted so that the other boys could hear him. All the other boys nodded in agreement.

"I hate you," I stated.

"No you don't," he said cheerfully, knowing that he was right.

When we boarded the plane we found out that we had a set of 2 seats half way along the cabin from a row of three. Of course Louis decided that we had to sit away from the rest of the boys, to which no-one argued with. _Great, _I thought, rolling my eyes._ What is he gonna do to me?_

I put my bag away in the overhead compartment and sat down, waiting for Louis. A couple of minutes later he literally jumped into the seat next to me.

"Whatcha doin'?" he sang.

"Nothing," I sighed. "Nothing at all."

"Good, 'cause I have a plan," He started.

"Oh no," I muttered.

"Fine, if you don't wanna know what it is then I won't tell you!" he joked, crossing his arms across his chest and turning away from me.

"Go on, tell me," I said, trying to turn him around but he resisted.

"No!" he shouted, defiantly.

I chuckled quietly, then tickled his sides, making him squirm and giggle until he finally turned around.

"Okay, okay…" he said, struggling for breath. "I was just going to say we could watch a movie or something." He shrugged.

I smiled, "That would be perfect." A massive grin covered his face, making me want to kiss him again. But I knew I couldn't.

We spent about ten minutes flicking through movies on the TV on the back of the headrest in front, finally settling on some kind of cheesy rom-com.

He lifted up his arm and I wasted no time in pulling up the armrest between us and slotting myself into his side. He put his arm down around me, squeezing me tight. I knew it was risky but I couldn't help myself. I felt him press his lips gently against the top of my head. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I rested my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke with a start as something crashed. I could feel something beneath me, moving as I tried to sit up.

"Woah-woah," it said. _Louis. _He was rubbing my arm, soothing me. "What's up?"

"Nothing…" I mutter, my voice still husky after sleeping.

I sank back down onto Louis' chest, adjusting my head so that it was resting in the crook of his neck. He started stoking my hair gently, humming softly in my ear.

"What was the crash?" I asked, referring to the ugly noise that had woken me up.

He chuckled. "It was the TV, babe."

"Babe?" I smirk, turning to face him, so that I was lying with my head in his lap.

"Mhmm," he said. "Sorry, act of habit."

I smiled up at him, admiring all the minor details of his face. His eyes, his lips… _Oh God, his lips…_

_No, Harry. You have to stop thinking like this!_

I was so lost in my thoughts that I never even noticed that Louis was staring at me as well. Studying my face just as closely. Inching his face closer to mine…

I was getting a familiar knot in my stomach, so lost in the moment that I almost forgot where we were.

Then I remembered.

I didn't want to reject him. Truly. I wanted his face to come so close to mine that I could feel his breath on my skin, his nose against my cheek, his lips pressed against mine…

"Louis," I said, placing my hands on either side of his chest. "Not here."

He groaned but didn't pull back. I could taste the mint off of his breathe. "Why?" he said, drawing it out.

"There are people here," I stated, motioning to the other people in the cabin who I couldn't actually see.

"Yeah, sleeping people," he laughed quietly. I frowned. "They're all asleep, Haz."

I smiled slightly, sensing opportunity. I arched my back, lifting my head so that it was closer to his. He smirked, but leant down anyway. "_Now _will you kiss me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because your face seems to be unnaturally close to mine."

"Shut up and kiss me," I said, reaching up behind his neck and pulling his face closer to mine.

As his lips touched mine I felt those familiar fireworks in the pit of my stomach.

Louis' hands were behind my back, supporting me, as the kiss deepened. I could feel him smiling into the kiss, which made me happy, knowing he felt the same way.

I could feel his tongue against my mouth so I opened it slightly, allowing him entrance. I groaned deeply as I felt his tongue run over mine.

He pulled back, struggling for breath. He started to lean forward again and I thought that he was going for another kiss. But, to my surprise, he bypassed my mouth and instead attached his lips to my neck. He placed hot, wet kisses along my jaw bone all the way down to my to collar bone. I closed my eyes and had to bite my lip to stop myself moaning too loudly. He pulled back slightly, and when I opened my eyes to see what was wrong I saw him staring down at me, a mischievous look in his eye.

When he leant forward again, his mouth was back on my neck. He kissed it softly a couple of times before planting his lips somewhere between the top of my neck and my jaw and biting down gently.

I suddenly realised what he was doing but I was too shocked to say anything. He bit down harder, forcing me to close my eyes again, moaning loudly.

_Oh no, _I thought. _This is gonna leave a mark. Shit! What if the boys notice? _

But I was enjoying it. As much as I hated to admit it; I loved it, really.

I moaned again. Loud. If anyone else was awake I'm sure they would have heard it.

_Man, when will this boy run out of breath?_

My eyes were still closed, enjoying the moment. I could feel Louis panting slightly against my skin. A couple of seconds later he pulled away. I opened my eyes to see him out of breath but grinning widely.

"Man, that's gonna leave a mark," he chuckled, tilting my head slightly to inspect his work. He ran his finger over the spot where his lips had been, sending shivers down my spine.

I sat up, stretching out the knots in my back. "Why do you always do this?"  
>"Do what?" he asked, flicking through the TV channels again.<p>

"Whenever I try to hold a decent conversation you kiss me," I laughed.

"It's not my fault," he argued back. I raised an eyebrow. "You're just too damn cute!" I laughed at that statement. "Plus, you're just-woke-up-voice was too sexy to resist."

My eyes just about doubled in size. I slapped him playfully on the arm. "You're not too bad yourself," I winked.

We sat for a few seconds in silence. Louis was staring at my neck the whole time.

"Look, Haz, I'm really sorry about that thing on your neck. I guess I just got carried away," he chuckled.

"Is it really that bad?" I whined searching for a mirror that I was pretty sure I didn't have.

"Here," Louis said, handing me a compact from his backpack.

"Why the hell do you have a mirror in your bag?" I chuckle, taking it from him and inspecting the mark on my neck. "Christ, Lou! How big is your mouth?"

"You tell me," he winked.

"Judging by the size of this, you're a fucking whale!"

"You love it though," he smiled sweetly.

"Unfortunately, I do," I sighed. He leant forward to kiss me again but I put my finger to his lips. "Oh no, Tomlinson. Not after last time." I giggled.

I turned my back against the window, leaning against the aeroplane's wall.

We spent ages just talking. Talking about different things, random things, like we used to. Except we never used to hold hands. Or play with each other's hair. Or put or hands in each other's lap, sliding them slowly inward, so far they made me feel queasy…

Even after my nap I was still tired. I kept yawning, and stretching, and saying that I wasn't tired. Louis never believed this of course. Instead, he lifted his arm up again and I snuggled under it again, feeling my eyelids get heavier, listening to Louis singing in my ear.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5 - Cheesy pasta and Goodnight Kisses **_

_*2 weeks later*_

Louis and I hadn't had much time together. With rehearsals and shows, signings and interviews, we didn't have much time together. Whenever we had time off, we slept. But we were off for the next couple of days and I was determined to spend some of it with Louis.

We hadn't even talked much. A couple of jokes here, the touch of a hand there. He still gave me those butterflies whenever I saw him, but I missed the feel of his kiss, the fireworks, the chills, the pleasure.

I was sitting alone on my bunk with the curtain drawn back, showing me the rest of the room. Tonight had been our last night in London until the end of the tour. Our mum's had all been there, all except Niall's. We had spent some time with them before they decided to head home, and I've been sitting here ever since. Staring at a wall, shivering at the cold.

I heard someone come in but felt no obligation to see who it was.

"Harry, you want some food?" I heard an Irish accent ask.

"Yeah, I'll be through in a second, Niall," I said, getting up from the bed.

As I walked through to the main room I could see Louis sitting in practically the exact same position as I was sitting in moments earlier. When he saw me he sat up slightly, beaming at the sight of me. It made me smile, knowing that the sight of me made him happy.

I tried to send him a telepathic message, _I need to talk to you_, but I don't think it worked. He just sat there smiling at me indifferently.

I sighed. _Guess I'm not psychic then._

I joined Niall in the kitchen where he was making himself a sandwich. He put the top bit of bread on then stuffed half of it into his mouth.

"_Attractive_," I said sarcastically.

"Meh," he replied, mouth still full of food. _That boy is never gonna get a girlfriend._

I walked to the cupboard and pulled out a packet of cheesy pasta. As I began to boil the pasta I felt something behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin, then I realised that it was Louis and relaxed.

He put one hand on the counter either side of me so that I couldn't escape from him. He put his lips to my ear and whispered, "I need to talk to you."

"I know," I whispered back.

"I'm going crazy," he sighed, still speaking in hushed tones.

"How so," I asked, stirring the pasta in front of me.

He chuckled. "Don't play dumb, Harry. I want you," he whispered, so close to me that I could feel his breath on my skin. The sound of those words made my legs turn to jelly, my heart flutter, my spine tingle.

"Meet me on my bunk in ten minutes," I stated, pushing past him to drain my pasta.

"It's a date," he winked.

I continued to make my pasta as Louis made his excuses and walked to the bedroom.

I poured my food into a bowl, grabbed a fork and casually followed his footsteps.

As soon as I was in the room I felt arms around my waist. Louis was standing behind me, his arms wrapped around me, rubbing my stomach. The butterflies were back.

"Hey, baby," he whispered in my ear, his chin finding the crook of my neck.

"Hey, Louis," I said, spooning pasta into my mouth.

"_How romantic,_" he stated sarcastically.

"Shut up," I chuckled, taking a spoonful of pasta and forcing it into his mouth.

We stood there for a couple of minutes, enjoying each other's presence. I had almost finished my pasta when Louis spun me around in his arms.

"You finished?" he asked, taking the bowl from my hands when I nodded.

"What did you wanna talk about?" I asked casually.

"We need to tell the boys," he stated. "We haven't had a proper conversation in ages and I can't bare it. If we tell them we don't need to hide it. Well, at least not from them. We could be ourselves. And, Harry, I haven't kissed you in so long. It hurts. I need you close to me."

I was touched by what he had said and felt the exact same way. I didn't know whether I should kiss him or not. I wanted to but what of one of the boys walk in? How would we explain that one?

But it seemed that Louis had already made that decision for me. He was leaning in towards me, closing the gap.

"Just quickly," I warned. He nodded but I knew he would try to make it last longer.

His lips touched mine and I felt those fireworks in the pit of my stomach. He ran his tongue along my lip, something I had been longing to feel for so long, but I couldn't. I shook my head lightly and pulled back from the kiss. He looked hurt, disappointed.

"I said quickly," I stated. When he did puppy dog eyes I added, "The boys are in the other room."

He nodded, defeated, then backed off and started getting undressed for bed. I couldn't help but stare as he stepped out of his trousers, revealing bright pink pants. When he pulled his t-shirt over his head, my mouth was a perfect 'o' shape, staring at his body.

"What's wrong?" he asked me, looking self-conscious, trying to cover his naked torso with his arms.

"You are perfect," I stated, crossing the room and wrapping my arms around his waist. I could feel his muscles pressing into my stomach.

"Thank you," he whispered into my ear, his arms now around my neck.

"Now, get to bed," I said, pushing away from him and starting to get ready for bed as well.

When I was undressed, I turned the light off and crawled into bed. As I was drifting to sleep I heard Louis whisper, "I love you."

I just managed to say it back before I drifted off into deep sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6 - Early Morning Kisses **__**(WARNING: Unfortunate Amounts Of Slash)**_

_"..._ _Somethings's telling me to leave but I won't, 'cause I'm damned if I do ya, damned if I don't..." -_ **Damned If I Do Ya_ by_ All Time Low**

I woke up due to the fact that there was a weight pressing down on me. I opened my eyes sleepily to see Louis hovering above me.

"Christ, Louis!" I said loudly. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

He chuckled. "Of course not. Then I wouldn't be able to see your beautiful face," he winked.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, rubbing my eyes as best I could with Louis on top of me.

"I came to see what you were doing," he said, casually.

"And you thought you would just lie on top of me?" I asked confused.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to do something," he started cautiously.

"And what would that be?" I asked, although I already had a pretty good idea of what he wanted.

"Oh, well, it's hard to explain," he was playing along now. He knew that I understood what he meant and I think that he was happy that I was going along with it.

"Well, maybe you should demonstrate," I said suggestively. I was shocked by the words that had rolled off my tongue, and obviously so was Louis; his eyes had doubled in size, his mouth dropping slightly.

He swallowed hard, then said, "Well, I need a volunteer."

"I could help with that," I stated, moving my mouth up to meet his.

I moved my hands up and down his naked torso, dragging my fingers from his biceps to his hips. He was still wearing his bright pink boxers from the night before.

I quickly pulled back. "Louis, the boys!" I hissed, annoyed at myself for getting so lost in the moment. We could have been caught and I wouldn't have known.

"Don't worry, baby," he said softly, tucking my fringe behind my ear. He leaned down and pecked me on the lips. "They're out for breakfast, they won't be back for ages." I smiled brightly, reaching up behind his head and pulling it towards mine, kissing him passionately.

Louis was still hovering above me, hands either side of my head. He rubbed his tongue against my mouth which I opened to allow him entrance. His tongue moved against mine, making me shiver every time they touched.

I rolled over so that he was next to me, his mouth still attached to mine. Now that he was on his side his hands were free to roam my body, lingering on the hem of my boxers.

He moaned into my mouth as my hands accidentally brushed over the front of his boxers.

He sat up, pulling me with him. I had had to pull back to breathe a couple of times already but I was still out of breath. I pulled back and started panting slightly but Louis obviously wasn't finished. He leaned forward and started sucking at my neck again. "Louis…" I chuckled lightly. "Not again."

I felt him smile against my skin. I ducked my head to meet his lips again. My legs were wrapped around his waist, trying to get as close to him as possible. I could feel his muscles again, digging into my stomach. I moaned loudly.

I pushed him down onto his back, our lips separating as I straddled his waist, grinning down at him.

"What you doing, Styles?" he asked me, cheekily.

"You don't wanna know," I winked, before bending down and crashing my lips against his. My hands ran down his naked torso, stopping at the waistband of his boxers. I gripped the elastic, tugging at it gently, testing them.

His eyes widened. I pulled my face back again, wiping sweat from my forehead.

"You sure you want to do this?" Louis asked me, looking concerned.

I nodded. A smile brightened his features and I pecked him on the lips once more.

I then started placing hot, wet kisses along his jaw, then down his neck and along his collarbone. Then I dragged my fingers across his stomach, back down towards his boxers, tugging the waistband again, this time pulling them down slightly, then a little more, then a little more, until Louis put his hands on mine signalling for me to stop. I looked up at him, and he nodded taking away his hands and instead placing them in my hair. He looked scared.

"Don't worry, baby. I won't hurt you," I said softly. "I won't do it if you don't want me to."

"I want you to," he said firmly. "Please."

"I love you," I said, pulling his boxers down a little more before taking them off completely. I looked up to Louis again. He had his eyes closed. I repeated my words from last night, "You are perfect."

I saw him smile weakly, but his eyes remained closed. I didn't really know what to do know. I'd never had gay sex before.

I ran my hand along his hips, almost brushing his private area._ It wasn't going to be private in a minute though. _I could feel him tensing under me.

I'm not going to lie; I was scared too. This is most intimate thing you can do with someone and I really wanted that with Louis but I didn't know how. _What if I mess up? What if I'm really bad and Louis hates me for it?_

I supposed I'd just have to go for it. I started rubbing his hips and lower, massaging his tensed muscles. He groaned as I got closer and closer to… _it._ Once I got there I massaged that as well, not sure on any kind of technique. It was all new to me. I was acting on instincts. Spur of the moment. But Louis seemed to like it. He was moaning constantly, biting his lip, trying desperately not to scream. His grip on my hair had tightened. He was pulling it so hard I thought that he was about to pull it all out. But I was too busy to care.

I was moaning too, gaining pleasure from what I was doing to Louis. I was still massaging… _it._ Faster now, tighter. I could feel it getting hard. I didn't know what to do at this point, but I knew what girls did to boys and that's all I had to go by.

So, I lowered my face, eyes closed, towards… _it. _I held it steady in my hands until my mouth reached it.

When I was hovering above it, I looked up to Louis to see his reaction. He was staring at me, shocked that I would think of this. I searched his eyes. They were begging me to continue. His grip on my hair was agonizing, but I was too exhilarated to feel the pain.

I ducked my head down, without closing my eyes and started working with it. I found it surprisingly easy to do. Moving my head up and down, getting faster as it got harder.

Louis was moaning, so loud I was surprised that the boys couldn't hear him wherever they were.

"H-Harry… I-I'm c-close," he spluttered, choking on every word.

I removed my head, replacing it with my hand. I sat there, straddling his legs, moving my hand up and down. His hands weren't in my hair anymore; they were grabbing the sheets underneath him, balling up into fists. His eyes were squeezed shut.

"Nearly there, babe," I said, as my hand went faster, until finally he came. All over my hand. All over my bed. He screamed. It wasn't girly though, it was low and masculine. Very sexy.

I climbed up so that I was lying next to him, completely out of breathe. "Harry…" he started but he couldn't find the right words so he just lay there in the damp part of my bed, chest heaving as he took in deep, unsteady breathes.

After about 20 minutes or so of just laying there we both had our breath back, he turned to me and said, "I love you so much."

I bit my lip, "Was I okay?" I asked, nervously.

"No," my heart sank. "You were fucking amazing."

I felt like I was on top of the world.

_I'm gonna start volunteering for stuff a lot more often._

**_A/N - Just a quick question; would you guys hate me if I renamed this chapter - "Breakfast and Blowjobs" ? Cause I think that fits better but it's a bit... I dunno. Just let me know watcha think:) xxx_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7 - Afternoon Delight**_

I was standing in the middle of the room when Louis came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle, his hands running up and down my stomach.

"Put some pants on, man!" I laughed.

"Dude, I don't think that's safe," he said seriously. "Do you know what you just did to me?"

"Mhmm," I mumbled.

"What's wrong?" he asked, kissing my temple.

"I can't believe I just did that," I admitted, staring at my bunk, which no longer had any sheets on it.

"Me neither," Louis said, excitedly. "But I'm not complaining! I do feel bad, though…"

"Why?" I asked turning around in his embrace.

"You did all that for me and…" he looked down.

"What, Louis? Tell me," I begged.

"You didn't even take your pants off," he sighed.

"And?" I questioned, waiting for more.

He looked me in the eyes, inquisitively. "Are you not angry? I feel so selfish."

"Why would I be angry," I chuckled. "Making you happy makes me happy," I explained. "And, I could never be angry with you; you're too cute!"

He looked into my eyes, searching for a lie that wasn't there. He kissed me tenderly on the lips, sending shivers through my body.

"I'm going for a shower," I yawned. Louis nodded and turned away, busying himself with something on his bunk.

I grabbed my towel, and went to the bathroom. I turned the shower on and let the cold run out. Then I pulled off my boxers and stepped under the warm jet, the heat massaging my tense muscles.

A couple of seconds later I heard the bathroom door open. _You probably just imagined it. Who would want to see you in the shower? Or it's just Louis using the toilet._

It was Louis. But he wasn't using the toilet. No, instead he opened the shower door and leant against it, watching me. I bit my lip, trying to cover myself up. Louis reached out and grabbed my arms, adjusting them so that they were no longer covering my body.

He stepped forward, under the water, and pulled me close. His arms were around my neck, his mouth to my ear as he whispered, "You are perfect." I smiled, and hugged him back. The water was still falling on us. Louis' hair was now completely soaked.

He placed a wet kiss on my lips, which deepened. His tongue was battling mine furiously. He shoved me against the shower wall, his naked body pressing into mine.

"Again?" I asked, incredulously.

"Your turn," he winked, sinking to his knees. I bit down hard on my lip, grabbing his hair.

"L-Louis," I spluttered, not knowing what to say. I went with, "Wow…" He looked nervous.

"How was it?" he asked, looking shy.

"Wow…" I repeated, but he didn't look convinced. I leant forward and whispered in his ear, "You were amazing." That made him smile lightly.

I planted a gentle kiss on his lips as we both stood under the shower head. _There's gonna be a high water bill this month._

I reached behind him and grabbed the shampoo, squeezing some onto my hands. Louis put his hands out so I gave him some too, but instead of putting it in his hair he rubbed it into my wet curls.

I dropped the bottle back on the shelf and started massaging my shampoo into Louis' hair. We were both standing there, cleaning each other's hair, laughing at each other as we did so. I leant forward and kissed his nose, making him laugh.

"What?" I asked, innocently.

He crashed his lips onto mine, again.

"I missed you," Louis said as he pulled back.

"When?"

"Those two weeks when we couldn't talk to each other. When the tour restarts we need to make time for each other," I nodded. "But… it means, we're gonna have to tell the boys."

"Tonight?" I asked, hopefully.

"Tonight," he confirmed, washing the last bit of shampoo out of my hair.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8 - Confessions**_

That night I was sitting on the sofa, watching a movie, when Louis tugged hard at my arm, making me nearly fall of the couch.

"Woah, calm down, Lou," I giggled, taking my arm back.

He smiled innocently at me. "Haz, can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked, nodding his head towards the bedroom.

"Mhmm," I murmured, getting off the couch.

"Where ya goin'?" Niall asked from the other settee.

"Bedroom," Louis stated. "Back in a mo'!"

Once we were in the bedroom Louis turned to me. "We need to tell them," he said. "Now." He added. I nodded, knowing he was right.

I was shitting myself but knew I had to be brave. I needed Louis.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him through the door. As we entered the main room I dropped Louis' hand. I wanted them to accept it, _us_, so I couldn't go around shoving it in their faces.

I stood in the centre of the room and cleared my throat, grabbing their attention. I didn't know what to say.

I felt scared, alone, worried that they wouldn't like the idea of Louis and I.

"Erm…" I started, clearing my throat again. "We… erm.. have something we wanna tell you."

They were all looking at me expectantly. In that moment I felt alone. They were all staring at _me._ They were all listening to_ me._

That was until Louis spoke up from behind me. "Me and Harry are kinda…" he trailed off, not knowing what to say. He placed a hand on my right shoulder, comfortingly.

"Get on with it," Liam chuckled, getting bored of our stalling.

"Look, I'm not sure how you guys are gonna take this but here goes. Louis and I are," I took a deep breath, summoning some unknown courage from somewhere, and finished, "together."

Louis squeezed my shoulder once I had finished, moving closer so that his body was pressed against my back.

"What?" Zayn spluttered. The rest of them sat, disbelievingly.

"You know what," I sighed.

"Like _together_, together?" Niall questioned. We nodded.

"Well, about time!" Liam chirped.

"What?" Louis asked. I just stood there, confused as fuck.

"You _finally _realised that you were on love with each other!" he grinned.

"You knew?" I asked, still confused. _How did he know?_

"I've seen the way you two look at each other. It was _obvious _that you were in love, you just needed to realise it."

"Was it really that obvious?" Louis asked, rubbing his neck, a bemused expression on his face.

"Hell, yeah!"

"So… you two are together?" Niall asked again. "Like a couple?"

"Yes, Niall," I sighed. "Like a couple."

Niall was probably taking this the worst. Zayn seemed to have gotten over it, he was sitting smiling at us, and Liam was acting like a teenage girl; beaming, gushing, hugging us tightly.

Niall just sat there. Like a potato.

Liam was bombarding Louis with questions, so I excused myself to sit by an awestruck Niall.

"How's it going?" I asked.

He turned his head slowly, looking at me closely. "Harry," he started in a serious tone. "Are you sure about this?" I sent him a confused look. "You and Louis? Have you talked about this?"

"Yes, Niall," I sighed. "We've talked about it. Many times." He didn't look convinced. "We love each other." He winced at the word 'love'.

"Okay…" he said. "Well, congrats, bro." He tried to be cheerful but I could tell he still wasn't sure about us.

"Right, well, I'm off to bed," I said loudly, letting everyone in the room know. Louis looked over to me, looking concerned. I shook my head at him, signalling for him not to worry.

"Hey, I think I might hit the sack as well, actually," he said, following me to the room.

"One last thing," Liam said. We both turned around, waiting for him to continue. Louis was standing behind me, again, playing with my fingers behind my back. "Have you told your parents yet?"

"Erm…no," I chuckled. "We haven't told anyone except you."

"Okay, well, sweet dreams!" Liam beamed.

As we walked towards the bedroom I could feel 3 sets of eyes burning into the back of my head.

"You okay, baby?" Louis asked as he pulled of his clothes, getting ready for bed.

"Mhmm," I mumbled, sitting on my bunk, staring at the wall.

"Haz, what's wrong?" he sighed, sitting next to me on my bunk, slinging his arm over my shoulder, pulling me close.

I leant my head back and groaned loudly. "Harry, tell me," Louis instructed, rubbing my shoulders.

"Niall isn't fine with it," I stated.

"Fine with _what_?" Louis asked, confused.

"_Us_. Me and you. Our relationship," I explained. Louis sighed.

Then he turned to me. "Would this make you feel better?" He brushed his lips against mine. Fireworks erupted in my stomach.

"Sure would," I winked, kissing him again, full on the lips, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He kissed back, forcefully, pushing me down onto my back. As my back hit the bed I moaned softly.

Louis pulled back. "Do you think we could do this?" he asked, frowning.

"They're watching a movie. It won't be done for a while. Just nothing to serious, okay?" And with that he glued his lips back on mine.

He started kissing my neck again, biting down slightly, but I pushed him away. He frowned at me, looking hurt. "Louis," I sighed. "They'll notice."

"So? They already know," he replied.

"I just don't want to shove it in their face, you know? It's obvious that Niall isn't cool with it," I explained.

He winked, "I'll make it discrete."

I sighed, knowing that I couldn't stop him even if I wanted to.

He was lying on top on me, pressing me into further into my bed. I moaned loudly into his ear.

"Keep it down in there!" I heard Liam shout from the living room.

Louis looked up and I giggled quietly. He smiled at me and returned to biting my neck.

I ran my hands through Louis' hair, tugging at it gently. He brought his lips from my neck and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Goodnight, baby," I whispered.

"Love you," he whispered back.

I kissed him lightly, "Love you too."

I stood up to let him past but he didn't move. He just lay there, on his side, propped up on his elbow. "I'm not going anywhere," he stated.

I chuckled, shaking my head. Then I pulled my shirt over my head, receiving a low whistle from Louis. "Oh, shut up," I chuckled, pulling off my trousers. I switched the light off then climbed in next to him, sitting on my knees.

I felt Louis wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me down beside him. I pulled the duvet over us and snuggled under his arm. He kissed my head, and muttered, "Goodnight", as I fell asleep listening to the steady beat of his heart.

I woke about an hour later, hearing someone stumble into the room. I sat up slightly, not wanting to disturb Louis.

"Sheesh, get a room," Niall seethed under his breath, obviously not noticing I was awake.

"Actually, we had a room until you walked into it," I replied angrily, watching him jump.

"Christ, Harry! You scared me half to death," he joked. Then he realised I was pissed, so added, "I was only kidding, you know? It's just still a bit weird, if you know what I mean…"

"Mhmm," I muttered, turning back into Louis' embrace.

_If Niall can't accept us, then who will, _I thought to myself. _If one of our_ best friends _can't accept us, then we can't count on the rest of the world accepting us. _

I sighed and closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to wash over me…


	9. Chapter 9

**Will you..?**

When I woke up Louis wasn't there. I searched the sheets beside me and saw a sticky note with Louis handwriting scrawled across it. It read:

**Morning beautiful. Meet me in the kitchen at ten. I've got something to ask you xx**

I smiled as I read the note, then panicked in case I had slept past ten. I rolled over and grabbed my phone from under my pillow. The screen said **9:57**.

_Yes! _

I was curious as to what he wanted to ask me but I figured I'd just have to show up to find out. I rolled out of bed and, as usual, fell on the floor. Pulling myself up, I then dragged my sleepy self to the kitchen, to find Louis facing away from me, standing in his boxers, dancing to the radio.

I tiptoed up behind him and slid my arms around his waist, resting my chin in the crook of his neck. He jumped slightly at my touch but, once he realised it was me, relaxed into my embrace, placing his hands over mine.

"Morning, sleepy," he said softly, twisting his neck so that he could see me.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked, still with my arms around him, swaying slightly.

"About an hour," he shrugged.

"You should have woken me," I stated, my voice still husky from waking up.

"Harry, why?" he sighed, shaking his head. I frowned, confused. He continued, "Why do you have to be so sexy? Coming in here with your too-hot-to-handle-just-woke-up-voice, in your fucking sexy yellow boxers. Why?"

I smiled at him, sweetly, as I sat down at the table. "Well, your dancing was pretty damn hot as well, you know." I winked.

He groaned and turned back to the cooker. "Where are the boys?" I asked casually. I wasn't really in the mood for seeing Niall at this point in time.

"Out," he answered. "Don't know where. They said they won't be back 'til late though, so we have this place all to ourselves." He drew out the last 4 syllables.

"And what is your plan, Mr Tomlinson?" I asked mischievously.

"Well, Mr Styles, I could think of some things we could do," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he started putting food onto two separate plates.

"I'll bet you can," I chuckled.

"But first," he said, bringing the plates over to the table, placing one in front of me, "I have something I want to ask you."

He didn't sit down. Instead he got down on his knees in front of me.

_What is this boy doing?_ I asked myself. It looked as if he was about to 'pop the question', but I doubted that highly. Louis was far too sensible for that, plus we weren't even 'official' yet.

He took my hand in his. "Harry. I love you. You're amazing, special, beautiful. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But until then; will you be my boyfriend?"

I was so happy. I couldn't put into words how happy I was. _Louis loves me too! He wants to be with me!_

I couldn't find the right words to say so instead I leant my head forward, kissing him slowly, softly.

When I pulled back I looked him straight in the eyes. "So, is that a yes, then?" he asked, hopefully.

"Sure is," I replied. He kissed me once more on the lips before taking a seat opposite me, tucking into his food.


	10. Chapter 10

**Serious Talks. Or not**

Louis stared at me the whole time we ate, grinning proudly. I smiled back, just as happy as he was.

When we were done, I picked up the plates and carried them to the sink. I couldn't be bothered to wash them then so I decided to leave it until later.

When I turned around, Louis was standing there, a little too close, smiling evilly.

"What you doing, Tommo?" I asked, even though I had a pretty good idea.

"Oh, I think you already know, Styles," he winked, using my last name. He brought his arms up around my neck, pushing me back slightly so that I was leant against the sink.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me.

He leant his head forward, touching my nose with his. I giggled, and whispered, "You're too cute."

He raised an eyebrow at me, closing the gap between us, kissing me softly. His hands were entwined in my curls, pulling me deeper into the kiss.

I moaned slightly into the back of his mouth, tightening my grip on his waist.

Eventually I pushed him away, breaking the kiss but keeping hold of his waist.

"So, what have you got planned?" I asked quizzically.

"Nothing," he replied. "Open to suggestions."

"Movie?" I suggested.

"Perfect," he smiled. "But put some clothes on." I raised an eyebrow. "I can't sit there with you half naked - the temptation's too much!"

"Well, the feeling's mutual, bro," I chuckled.

Once we were both showered and dressed, we flopped onto opposite ends of the 'L' shaped couch.

"What are we watching then, Harold?" Louis asked me as I slid a DVD into the player.

"The Hangover," I grinned back, pressing 'play'.

About half way through the movie I turned to look at Louis. He wasn't paying attention to me though, he was much too caught up in the movie.

"Lou…" I said, trying to get his attention. "Lou… Louis? Lou… Louis!" I ended up almost shouting.

He turned to me. "Mhmm…"

"I wanted to… um… talk to you about… something," I started. Now I had his full attention.

"Fire away," he smiled weakly.

I took a deep breath and said – "Doyouthinkwe'regoingtofast?"

"Huh?" he chuckled. "Slower, Harry. Maybe in English?"

I steadied my breathing once again. My heart was beating quicker than usual, my head spinning. "Do you think we're maybe going a little bit… too fast?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

He looked hurt. _God, I never meant it like that._

"Well… you know…" I sighed. _Why am I nervous?_ "Maybe we could slow things down a bit. I mean, we haven't even been on a first date or anything."

He chuckled lightly. _Why is he laughing? _"Okay then, young Harold. I shall take you on a date. Now, where would you like to go?"

I was surprised by his sudden turn of moods. One minute; hurt and upset. Next minute; funny little English dude.

I smiled back at him, happy that he wasn't offended by what I had said. "I think I'll leave that to you, Tommo. You're the romantic."

This conversation didn't go exactly how I had wanted it to. Although, I did now have the promise of a first date, it was still a little less serious than I had hoped. I sighed. _Nothing with Louis ever is serious. Nor will it ever be, for that matter._

I was just about to start talking again. I wanted to talk to him about things - the band, the publicity, us – but found that he had already turned back to the TV, eyes glued to the screen, as if nothing had happened.

I sighed again.

_Why is nothing ever simple when it comes to Louis? Why doesn't he understand that we need to talk things over? I love him, but that's just not enough, is it? We need to work at this if anything is ever going to happen. And he needs to help me._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – Serious Talks. Sort Of…**

I stared at him from across the room. He was sleeping. Breathing lightly, eyelids fluttering. He looked so peaceful. So innocent.

I crossed to the kitchen and started to wash our plates and cutlery from earlier. I cast my eyes across the messy bus.

Liam and I had tidied it earlier this week yet it had already returned to its usual land-fill like state.

I sighed, looking over at Louis again. He was starting to wake. Mumbling and twisting his body. He pulled his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes sleepily, letting out a massive yawn, arching his back and opening his mouth wide.

I couldn't help but smile.

But I didn't want to speak to him.

Not right now.

Maybe later.

_But how can I get away without seeming rude?_

It was too late; his eyes were already opened and he was scanning the room for me. _No escape now._

"Hey," he mumbled, standing up and stretching his back.

"Oh, hey," I replied, smiling weakly.

"What you doing?" he asked, crossing over to the kitchen.

"Just cleaning up," I said. Then, "I'm going out for a bit. Just need to go to the shops and get some stuff."

"Oh, okay," he said, looking taken aback. "Well, I'll come with you."

"No," I said, too quickly.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "What?"  
>"Erm…" I sighed heavily. <em>Way to go, Harry. You sounded like a complete jerk. <em>"I'm fine on my own, thanks," I coughed. "It won't take long."

I tried to walk past him but he grabbed my arm, spinning me around. "Harry, what's wrong?"

I turned my head, not looking him in the eyes. "Nothing."

"Harry," he said firmly, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him.

"Nothing," I almost shouted, pulling out of his grip and pushing past him.

"Woah," Louis said from behind me. "What's your problem?"

I just ignored him, grabbed my shoes and ran out of the door.

I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care. I had to get away. To think.

I had to be on my own.

I climbed into my car and hit my head against the steering wheel. "Aaargh," I moaned.

_What's wrong with you, Harry? How could you be so stupid? Louis is the best thing that has happened to you in a long time and now you're pushing him away. What is YOUR problem?!_

I pull back and put my hands on the wheel. Then I started driving. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care. I needed to think.

I drove back about 3 hours later. I hadn't got out of the car once. I just drove around, not knowing where I was going but somehow managing to find my way back.

"Harry, where the hell have you been?! I've been worried sick! You can't just walk out like that!" That was the response I got as soon as I walked through the door.

"Shut up, Louis," I replied, coldly. I guess the drive didn't change anything. I still didn't want to talk to him. I just wanted to crawl into bed and wait for all my problems to fix themselves.

But since I couldn't see that happening anytime soon, I turned to face Louis, a hard glare covering my face.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong, Louis. I'm in love with a boy. The most immature boy I've ever known. And my band mate no less. And I'm not even sure what's going to happen to us. I mean, when did we become serious? We've never talked about us and every time I try you manage to change the subject. And, sometimes, I just think… I just… I just don't know how I feel."

Then I broke down. I turned around and I ran. I ran to my bedroom, crashed on my bed, tears streaming down my face.

_God, Harry, pull yourself together. _

But I couldn't. I don't know what came over me.

I never heard Louis come in but I felt him beside me, his arms around me.

He kissed me softly on the temple. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

I sniffled loudly, rubbed my eyes, then turned to face him. "Me too," I whispered back.

He wrapped his arms around me pulling me close. I loved the way his arms fitted perfectly around me. The way he could make me feel safe just by being close.

"Look, Harry," Louis said weakly. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I guess… I guess I just didn't want to talk about it because then you might change your mind…" He looked away from me, looking ashamed.

"What? Louis, why would I change my mind about us? You're perfect."

"Mhmm kay…" he murmured, obviously not believing me.

I shook my head slightly, a smile appearing on my lips.

I pulled his face closer to mine and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"Goodnight, Louis," I said, turning to lie down in my bunk.

Louis got up and went to his own bunk, looking over his shoulder at me as I pulled my trousers off under the covers. I smiled at him, then he turned around and climbed up to his bed.

I rolled over and sighed into my pillow. _When am I going to learn?_

I was in love with my best friend. This was never going to work…


	12. Chapter 12

We barely had any time to ourselves in the next two weeks. Tour had started up again so we were pretty busy.

I knew I should probably talk to Louis but, if I'm honest, I was waiting for him to talk to me. He had seemed distant, not himself. I still wasn't sure how I felt. And it was driving me insane…

I needed to talk to someone. Anyone. Except Louis.

But Zayn and Liam were out, leaving me with Louis and Niall. And, although Niall wouldn't be my first choice, I had to talk to someone.

So, taking in a deep breath, I stood from my position on the couch, and started gingerly towards the bedroom.

I knocked lightly on the door, half hoping he wouldn't hear me, but, almost straight away, the door was pulled open, revealing the face of my little Irish friend.

"Hey, Ni," I said nervously, one hand in my trouser pocket, the other rubbing the back of my neck.

"Hi," he replied awkwardly. I hadn't really thought much about it, being much too occupied with Louis and I's situation, but I hadn't really talked to Niall much since we told the boys.

I suppose he took it the worst. Zayn was his same cool self, whereas Liam was the shadow of a teenage girl whose best friend was in love, but Niall?

He was different. Quiet even. I hadn't had much of a conversation with him, and, as far as I knew, neither had any of the other boys. The only time I saw him was at shows or rehearsals, but even there he seemed out of it.

I don't know why. Maybe it was because of me and Louis, maybe something else had happened.

It didn't matter though.

All I knew was that I needed to talk. Now.

"What's up?" he asked, stepping backwards, falling straight onto his unmade bed.

"Well…" I started, unsure of what to say. He obviously wasn't comfortable with mine and Louis' current relationship status.

_Maybe I should wait for Liam_, I thought. But I knew that that probably wasn't the best idea either. He was insane about us.

_Zayn, maybe? _But I wasn't so sure. Zayn was great at giving advice, but he didn't know anything about this, us. He really was a ladies man; he wouldn't know what to say about two guys.

That's when I realised that, even though he wouldn't be my first choice, Niall was probably my best bet. I knew he would be honest with me, and he might even have some good advice up his sleeve.

I just had to make sure that I didn't gross him out even more.

But I would never know unless I tried so, gathering all the courage I had, I gushed, "I was wondering if you could help me with something?" when he nodded, I continued, "It's about me and Louis."

At this last statement he looked sceptical. "Look, Harry. I'd love to help, but I don't know if I can. I'm just… Maybe you would be better with Liam?" he suggested.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "What? You mean Mr. _Oh-My-God-Look-How-Cute-They-Are-They-Just-Made-Eye-Contact?" _I questioned, sarcastically.

"Okay, maybe you're right. What about Zayn?" he asked, almost pleading.

"Niall, if you don't want to talk to me, that's fine," I sighed, turning round, on my way to the door.

I had my hand on the door, ready to pull it open, when I heard the creaking if a bed and a little Irish sigh.

"Okay," he said, still sounding unsure. "I'll help you."

I wasn't sure if he meant it, but I sat on his bed beside him anyway.

"You sure?" I asked, he nodded, getting comfortable facing me. "Okay, so, basically…" I trailed off, realising then that I didn't know what to say. What was wrong?

Niall, noticing me struggle, asked, "Has he done something?"

"No… not really. I don't think so… maybe…" I was getting confused now. _Had he done something?_ "It's more about what he _hasn't _done."

"In what way?" Niall asked, now completely serious.

"Well… we haven't really talked, 'cause, you know, we've been busy and stuff. But he hasn't even made an effort, you know?" I tried to explain. Niall nodded along silently.

After a moment of thought, he came out with, "Have you made the effort?"

"Sorry?" I asked, completely confused.

"Well, you say he hasn't made an effort, but have _you?"_

What Niall said made complete sense, yet at the same time confused me.

"Look, Harry, I'm not gonna lie; I'm not exactly cool with this. But, I can tell you love each other," he told me. I could tell he wasn't comfortable but I was so grateful to him. "I think you should talk to Louis about this."

I nodded. "Yeah… it's just been a bit awkward, you know?" he chuckled lightly, acknowledging this. "Thanks, Niall."

"No problem," he shrugged, brushing it off.

"No, seriously, Niall. This has seriously helped, and I know you're uncomfortable with us," I said, "but I'm grateful, seriously."

Niall shook his head, laughing lightly. "Stop being such a girl, Haz," he giggled. I faked hurt at his statement. "Go talk to Louis!"

"Yes, sir!" I saluted, standing up and making my way over to the door again. "And, Niall?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," I smirked.

"Go!" he commanded, and this time I did leave.

I walked into the living room, happy after my chat with Niall, and straight away saw Louis lying on the couch, watching TV in grey joggers and a maroon t-shirt.

I smiled at the sight of him, tip-toeing over to sit behind him. I was surprised he hadn't noticed me come over. Too busy watching TV. _Typical._

So, I carefully slid my hands over his eyes, making him flinch, lowering my face down next to his.

I moved until my lips were nearly touching his ear, and whispered, "Guess who?"

He placed his soft hands over mine, pushing them away gently, then turned to face me, sitting up in the process. "Hey," he said softly.

"Hi," I smiled back, equally as quiet.

He bit down on his lip gently, tilting his head to the side.

We sat like that for a while; his hands on mine, searching each other's faces, in complete silence.

After a couple of minutes though, he started leaning forward, running his tongue along his bottom lip. My eyes moved between his eyes and lips a couple of times, before they settled on his lips, staying there until they met mine, soft and firm, like usual.

He removed his hands from mine, threading them, instead, through my hair, tugging slightly at the messy curls. My hands travelled, naturally, to his waist, gripping tightly, pulling him closer.

I slipped my tongue along his bottom lip and he almost immediately opened his mouth, letting me in. I felt his tongue inside my mouth, making me shiver.

It didn't last much longer though, as I broke it off, out of breath but smiling.

"I've missed that," he admitted, taking hold of my hands once again.

"Me too," I smiled, rubbing the back of his hand with the pad of my thumb.

He sighed. "We need to talk don't we?"


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13 – Dirty Little Secret**_

Louis led me to our room, sitting me down on my bed. I smiled nervously as Niall stood up, claiming to have to 'phone his mother', and sent me the thumbs up, before leaving.

Louis then took a seat on the bed opposite mine, Niall's.

"So…" I said, after a couple of moments of awkward silence.

"We haven't really talked much," Louis stated.

"Yeah, I know," I agreed.

"Have I done something wrong?" he asked, worriedly.

"What? No!" I said guiltily.

"Well, you haven't exactly been talking to me," he explained, looking hurt.

"You haven't talked to me either, Lou," I said softly. He looked up at me, confused. I sighed, then continued, "I thought _you _had fallen out with _me._"

"What?" he chuckled. I nodded, confirming. "So, we've both been avoiding each other, because we thought we'd fallen out? That's just plain stupid."

"Tell me about it," I sighed.

He slid off of Niall's bed, climbing next to me. "But we're okay, right?"

"Yeah," I said. "We're okay. But we still need to talk."

He nodded, taking a big breath. "So," he started, smiling softly, "what do you want to talk about?"

Half an hour later we had talked about pretty much everything we needed to. We had decided _not _to tell anyone else, not yet, to just keep it between us and the boys.

We had decided to set a first date. But, because nobody knew about us, if we wanted to leave the bus, it couldn't be too romantic. No holding hands, no kissing, no funny looks. It had to look like two mates going for a night out, nothing fancy.

Or we'd have to go somewhere private.

We'd talked about other things to; telling our parents, management, other close friends. But we decided not to. No one was to know. It was our little secret.

"Is that everything?" Louis asked, and I nodded slowly, going over everything in my head, making sure we hadn't missed anything. "Good," he said, breaking into a smile.

I wasn't paying attention until he grabbed my hand, using his other to turn my head to face him. He smiled at me again, his big, childish smile, and I couldn't help but return it. It was contagious.

He leant his head forward, nudging my nose with his, giggling softly. I shook my head gently at his immaturity.

"You're such a child, Tommo," I mocked.

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, eyebrows raised, before crashing his lips onto mine, pushing me back against the wall.

He loosened his grip on my chin, sliding his hand instead to my neck, pressing his body closer to mine. My hand was still enclosed in his, so I pulled it free, placing it on his waist, as he pushed me harder against the wall, making me moan heavily into his mouth.

I could feel butterflies in my stomach, and I remembered why I had missed this so much. The feeling I got when I was with Louis, this close, was just… incredible. All the clichés – fireworks, butterflies, tingles- I got them all, just because of one person.

"You know Niall's only next door?" I asked, out of breath, as Louis began kissing my neck, his hands now on my shoulders, keeping me upright against the wall.

"Mhmmm," Louis replied, lips still pressed heavily against my neck.

"Should we really be doing this then?" I asked, pulling lightly at his hair.

"Yes," he said firmly, kissing me again.

I was about to argue, when he ran his tongue along my bottom lip, and I couldn't resist. I opened my mouth, as he moved his hands from my shoulders, hands flat across my chest, down to my waist, pressing down on my hips.

I moaned loudly into his throat once again, as he pressed down harder on my hips. He pulled away from my lips, smirking deviously at me. He started backing away, teasing me.

I groaned quietly, as he continued pulling away from me, still smirking.

I shook my head at him, grabbing his neck, pulling his face closer. I waited until his nose was touching mine, before whispering, "Love you."

"Love you, too, baby," he replied, pecking me on the lips, before I let go of his neck, falling down to lie on the bed. Louis shuffled to lie down next to me.

"When do you think we should tell everyone?" he asked softly.

"Only us and the boys need to know," I said, twisting my neck to face him.

"But we need to tell management, we can't keep this secret forever," he sighed.

"Yeah, I know," I agreed. "But, I think we should keep it secret for now, you know? I mean, not everyone's gonna agree with this, us. We should just make the most of it until we absolutely have to tell people."

He smiled, turning onto his side, sliding his fingers through my hair, twisting them through the curls. "And that," he smiled, brushing a stray curl off my forehead, gently, "is why I love you."

We lay there for another hour or so, not talking, staring up at the ceiling. It felt right. It felt like nothing could go wrong.

Oh, how I was mistaken…

_**AU: I'm going to be uploading the last two chapters tomorrow. There's a bit of a twist at the end - try not to get too emotional:') Just a heads up; I'm thinking of maybe doing a sequel - I have a couple of ideas for it. Let me know that would be cool and if you would read it. Cheers:)**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14 – Who's That Girl?**_

The next day I woke up happy. After lying with Louis for hours, I had gone through to the living room, where Niall was asleep with his mouth open. I had woken him up, laughing as he fell off the couch, shouting something about being 'sorry for throwing pancakes at the elephants', and explained everything.

He had listened well, nodding, commenting in all the right places. After that we both went to bed, where Louis was snoring loudly from his bunk.

Now though, as I sat on the bottom step of a cold staircase, head in hands, struggling to keep the water from spilling from my eyes. I couldn't believe what I had seen. Maybe I was overreacting but it hurt.

_I walked into the room, looking around for our stylist. She wasn't there. But Louis was. And he wasn't alone._

_He was standing, closely I might add, to a girl, about my age. I didn't exactly 'bat for her team' but even I couldn't deny that she was fit. Tall and brunette, in tight jeans and a thin top that stopped just above her belly button._

_I was about to make myself known, when he moved closer to her, so that now they were so close you could tell they weren't talking about the weather. _

_He leant forward slightly, whispering something in her ear. She nodded in response, giggling quietly, flushing red._

_He lifted a hand, brushing a strand of hair from her face, his face still close to hers, almost touching._

_I wanted to say something, I really did. But I couldn't. In all honesty, I don't know where I got the strength to move. But I did. I ran._

_I ran until I was out of sight of everyone, of Louis. Until I was here, where I could think, get my head straight._

_Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it wasn't what it looked like. Maybe they were just friends._

_All these 'maybe's going through my head, but I knew none of them were true. I just didn't want to believe that Louis would do that to me. I thought he loved me._

_A flash of anger rose within me. He said_ _he loved me, but that was obviously a lie. What else had he lied about?_

_I needed to talk to him, but I didn't think I could. I wasn't ready to see him. _

_God, what had gone so _desperately _wrong in my life that I was crying over a _boy_?_

I sat there for a while, thinking things over. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I thought I had found a private place, where no-one could find me and I could be left alone with my thoughts. That's why I was surprised to hear the sound of footsteps, followed by a little Irish voice shouting, "Harry? Harry, you here?"

I decided not to answer him, because maybe he wouldn't see me then he'd leave me alone. But I was wrong again. As he walked round a corner, looking distressed but happy as ever, he spotted me, grinning even wider if that was possible.

"There you are! I've been looking for you for ages. We're just about to start –" he stopped talking when he saw my face. Now that he was close enough I was sure that he would be able to see the dry tears on my cheeks, the red rims around my eyes. I reached up to rub away fresh tears, my fingers gently pressing down on the puffy skin, as he asked, "What's wrong?"  
>I cleared my throat, faking a smile. "Nothing. Nothing at all."<p>

"Don't lie to me, Harry," he warned, losing the smile. "Is it Louis?"  
>"What? No," I said, trying to sound convincing.<p>

Obviously it didn't work as Niall replied with, "What's he done?"

"Nothing, Niall," I said, stressing out the word.

"Bullshit," he stated harshly. "Louis' upset you and I want to know why," he said, then more softly, "what's he done, Harry? Maybe I can help."

"You can't," I sighed, rubbing my eyes again as new tears threatened to spill.

"Well, maybe not," he admitted. "But you could at least tell me what's going on."

"Okay," I said, giving in.

After explaining everything to Niall he looked like he was about to explode. His fists were clenched into fists, his knuckles white with pressure, and I could tell he was biting his tongue to stop himself from shouting. I knew he hadn't meant to, but, in these simple actions, he had confirmed my thoughts; what Louis did was wrong.

I couldn't take it anymore. Niall was angry, but I was breaking. I put my head in my hands and just let the tears flow silently. Niall still looked like he wanted to punch something, orsome_one,_ but his eyes softened when he saw the water trickling through my fingers.

I never wanted him to see me cry. I decided long ago that I would never cry in front of _any _of the boys. But I guess that's what love does to you. It breaks every rule, every strength, every promise.

Niall sat beside me, slipping an arm over my shoulder in a one-arm-hug. It was comforting but it didn't make the pain go away. "You have to be strong, Harry," he whispered to me.

I got up from the stairs, straightening myself out, wiping the stray tears from my eyes. I walked purposefully down the hall, ignoring Niall's attempts to stop me. "Harry, wait! Slow down! It'll all be alright," were some of the things he shouted after me. I ignored him, just wanting to get away.

Where to? I didn't know, but somehow I ended up back at the bus, sobbing on the floor of our bedroom, desperately pulling things out of drawers, stuffing them into a suitcase.

I had had enough of crying, at least for now. I could cry when I was back home, not in London, where Louis had easy access through the front door. To Chesire. To my family.

Before I left, I grabbed a pen and scribbled a quick note to Niall. It read: **I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not strong enough. XX**

I felt bad leaving them, just before the third leg of our tour began, but I couldn't stay here, with him.

_**AU: I am so so sorry that I never uploaded - even though I promised! I am such a bad person! Hope you enjoy the end anyway; I cried like a baby writing it:') **_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Epilogue**_

It had been at least 3 weeks since I'd seen Louis. I had met up with Niall a few times and he had given management a message for me. I had told them that I wasn't well and spending some time at home with my family.

I hadn't even spoken to Louis or any of the others in that time. Niall was my only communication in the band. They had postponed the tour until I was 'ready'. I didn't know when that would be.

I had very nearly quit the band on more than one occasion, but Niall had talked me out of it. Apparently he'd talked to Louis that day and ended up storming out of the bus, furious, and had drove to find me.

He blamed Louis for everything. He expected me to. But I didn't. I shouldn't have taken things so fast.

I explained that in a letter to Louis. Niall said he cried when he read it. He'd given me several in return but I hadn't read them. I wasn't ready to hear what he had to say.

Zayn told Niall that he had saw Louis with other girls before and since then. I cried for a day when I heard. I felt used, betrayed. He didn't love me. I was just his fuck buddy.

I'm going to meet up with him next week. Hear his version of events.

I don't want to go. Niall's tried to talk me out of it many times. But I owe it to myself.

I need to know what I did wrong…

The End

AU: I've been thinking about doing a sequel maybe. Let me know if you think I should


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